Yet More Drugs

Well, I got out of bed for a moment at 4 am, and The Guardian (UK) had just emailed me asking for a 1,000-word story. It will appear in today’s paper in a couple of hours, and I’m going back to bed now at 5:30. It’s a response to this ridiculous article in the Times of London, and here it is:

Classical musicians are a beautiful, vulnerable, and voiceless population. They sweep onstage in tuxedos and gowns and quietly go home, subject to endless mythology about their personal and professional lives. Now, the Times of London has published an expose about performers’’ use of drugs and alcohol, a subject I’’ve written about both in my book, Mozart in the Jungle, and in the American mainstream press.

Let’s start with full disclosure. I am a professional musician –– an oboist — who’’s performed with four major orchestras in the United States, including the New York Philharmonic. Like many people my age, I’’ve tried both marijuana and Valium in the past. Today, I consume alcohol on a social basis, and beta blockers, which are prescribed by my physician, when needed for performance anxiety once or twice a year.

There now, that’’s not so shocking, is it? Despite my musical accomplishments, I’’m a normal person who addresses various challenges like anyone else. Yet the press would label me as a troubled substance abuser, fabricating a sensational story about classical musicians trying to one-up Amy Winehouse.

First, let’’s dissect the effect of various drugs, and consider why classical musicians would take them. In recent articles on the subject, alcohol, tranquilisers, marijuana, and beta-blockers have been mentioned. Yet these substances have dramatically different applications and effects, many of which are undesirable for musicians.

The most popular drug in any society is alcohol. Musicians are not exempt from alcoholism, and it affects performance in a negative way. Classical musicians rely on minute technique and quick response time; alcohol only dampens these skills, and although initially its effect could ameliorate stage fright, once onstage, drunkenness only amplifies terror. I’ve seen — rarely — musicians swilling pre-concert, and it never works out well.

Next comes cocaine, a drug only elite musicians could use – because it’s very expensive. News flash: working class musicians don’’t earn big. In small amounts, cocaine seems to enhance confidence, which, depending on preparation could be a good thing, or highly embarrassing when reading reviews the next morning. I know musicians who use it while performing, but they are in the tiny minority.

Tranquilisers like Valium have similar consequences to alcohol, compromising technique and response time. However, some people are prescribed these drugs for medical reasons, so it’s difficult to separate “abusers” from legitimate patients.

I know few people who use marijuana these days. In general, musicians want and need to be mentally acute. Pot, which is pricey, doesn’’t fit the bill. Furthermore, one of the drug’s main symptoms is paranoia, which doesn’t jibe well with stage fright.

Finally we come to beta blockers, which have become the poster child for reporters on a slow news day. Drugs! Classical musicians! Horror!

Briefly, beta blockers are a class of heart medications that treat blood pressure, angina, and migrane headaches. Since a 1965 Lancet article explored their use for stage fright, they’’ve also been widely prescribed for musicians, public speakers, and even surgeons who must steady their hands.

Beta blockers are not recreational drugs. They do no affect cognitive abilities, but instead block adrenaline-like chemicals in the human system, quelling the “fight or flight” response. For a fiddler, this means performance goes on like practice, with no bouncing bow or slippery fingers.

Contrary to what the Times reported, there’’s no “black market” for beta blockers. These are legal drugs – taken for medical reasons by as great as 10 percent of the world’s, and therefore any orchestra’’s, population,– and they are routinely prescribed for stage fright by licensed physicians.

““I think there is too much misplaced moralizing about psychopharmacology, at least here in the U.S.,”” said Dr. Michael Craig Miller, editor of the Harvard Mental Health Letter. “”There are advantages and disadvantages to all drugs (licit and illicit) — but I do think that the word “abuse” is not appropriate in the average situation where a musician uses a beta-blocker prior to performing.””

Dr. Miller’’s statement is not rhetoric; he is not just a physician, but also a notable amateur pianist. Likewise, I am a performing musician who uses beta blockers for some solo performances.

As a teenager, I suffered debilitating stage fright. Upon entering college, I asked the conducting staff to assign me to pit orchestras instead of onstage groups. And so when beta blockers became a known treatment for stage fright, I asked my doctor for a prescription.

On the New York City subway in 1986, I took my first dose of Inderal, a beta blocker, some 45 minutes before an audition. The result seemed miraculous. Although I still felt nervous, my hands didn’’t shake as the usually did, I wasn’’t gasping for air, and my mind remained clear. I played exactly as I had meticulously prepared to do. I won the job, and went on to play a Carnegie Hall debut recital, record a Grammy-nominated CD, and hold a solo position with four major Broadway productions.

Beta blockers are not a class of drug subject to abuse. Their effects only reduce the symptoms of terror we all feel when confronted with danger, like narrowly escaping an auto crash. No one would overdose. – I once took too much (which I later learned was only one-fourth of my elderly mother’’s daily prescription) and the boring performance that ensued made me commit to an even smaller dose in the future.

However, it always seems surprising to audiences that classical musicians are not unlike any other cross section of society , subject to the same joys, sorrows, and misbehavior as the rest of the human race. Yes, some musicians are alcoholics. Some are stoners, who stumble through life on pot, middling about on the worst possible gigs that barely support them. Some lose everything in the wake of cocaine and crack abuse.

There was a beautiful blonde cellist in 1980s New York, who was married, owned a gorgeous apartment overlooking Central Park, and landed a chair in “Phantom of the Opera,” which is playing two decades later. Yet she surrendered to cocaine, and then crack, losing all when she became a prostitute to support her habit.

Bonnie died three years ago, leaving behind a young son after battling AIDS for a decade. She was a stellar musician, but also an ordinary human being with demons like anyone else.

On my book tour, one journalist defiantly asked me to clarify why “musicians are more noble than other people.” Where had he gotten such an idea? Although most of us don’’t end up in dire circumstances, we, like anyone else, are just people. We’re tempted. We say yes or no to drugs. But, because of our discipline, we most often say no; – drugs and impairment are not worth risking a lifetime of practice.